Dana Wessel

Sure Could Go For Some Wings…

No need for dumb intro here. The headline spells it out pretty clearly. Here are some main characters from beloved TV shows that are the worst. One quick note though, these are characters that you are supposed to like on a show. Obviously antiheroes like Tony Soprano and Walter White are awful humans, but that’s the point of their respective show/character. That is a different list. These are supposed good guys who actually suck.

Alright, onto the awfulness!

Ted Mosby – How I Met Your Mother: Things start out great with Ted. Seems like the kinda dude you would root for. Unlucky in love, great group of friends, reasonably funny. Seems like your classic leading man in a rom-com. 

But then about season four or so you grow tired of him in a big way. You almost get mad the way the show is formatted because it shows that he grows up, gets married and has kids because it rules out the possibility of the show killing him off and just continuing with the rest of the crew. 

Here is how my HIMYM fanfiction would have gone:

*****

Season Four Finale

EXT. MCCLAREN’S PUB

Ted walks out of the bar and turns to say goodbye to Marshall, Lilly, Robin, and Barney

TED

See you guys later!

Ted then steps backwards into the crosswalk waving, not realizing there is a DO NOT WALK sign. He then gets smoked by a garbage truck Meet Joe Black-style doing 60. Then a group of 10 other garbage trucks that were inexplicably following the first truck for some reason run him over. It is clear there is no chance of survival. 

FADE TO BLACK – CREDITS ROLL

Season Five Premier

INT. MCCLAREN’S PUB

Marshall, Lilly, Robin, and Barney are sitting in their regular booth having beers. 

MARSHALL

Sucks what happened to Ted, huh?

The gang all kinda nod in a casual agreement, seeming totally unphased. 

LILLY

So Barney! Tell us the story about the gorgeous Ecuadorian monster truck driver you met!

******

Seriously. Ted sucks. 

Dawson Leery – Dawson’s Creek: The character with his NAME in the show is somehow the worst character in the entire series. How is that even possible?! 

I watched this show from day one back in middle school and immediately was rooting for Dawson. “He loves movies like me! He has a Jurassic Park poster in his room! I want him and Joey Potter to be together forever!”

That didn’t last long. We learn very quickly that Dawson is a whiny, controlling dork. There is a reason that ‘Dawson Crying Gif’ is so popular on social media. Given how obsessed I have been with Mighty Ducks my entire life I should have realized that Pacey (Charlie in Ducks) was the guy to root for in this show. Thank god they had Pacey and Joey ended up together at the end. 

Ross Geler – Friends: I am HOPING this one isn’t controversial. I feel like the major fans of this show agree with me. Ross is not only the worst character on Friends, he is one of the worst TV characters of all time. 

Now, I will admit, I have not seen every episode of Friends but I have seen enough to give a list of characters on the show that are better than Ross. 

  • The other five of the friends.
  • The monkey.
  • Gunther.
  • The woman (Janice, I think?) that one of the guys dated who had the really annoying voice. 
  • The dude whose balls hang out of his shorts at the coffee shop.
  • The football they use in the Thanksgiving game. 
  • Monica’s undies you see after Ross — WHO IS HER BROTHER — inexplicably pulls her pants down during the Thanksgiving game. 
  • The duck. 
  • The naked guy they spy on across the street. 
  • The couch they had to move up the stairs. 

Jim Halpert – The Office: Definitely the one on the list that will be the most controversial. Jim is the most beloved character on one of the most beloved shows of the last 20 years. He is a likeable dude on the surface, to be fair. Charming, handsome, good sense of humor, seemingly loyal. 

But it is important to remember that he kissed the engaged receptionist which led to her wedding getting called off, had a woman from Connecticut move back to Scranton with him even though he was still in love with the receptionist, ditched the Connecticut woman in NYC during a job interview to go back to Scranton to ask the receptionist on a date ***DEEP BREATH*** all before finally becoming such a selfish husband to the receptionist that he almost drove her into the arms of the dude holding the damn boom mic on the documentary crew. Phew. That was a lot. 

Also, a lot of those pranks on Dwight were just mean. Jim is a dick. 

Mr. Ed – Mr. Ed: Horses kinda freak me out. A horse that can talk? Time for the glue factory, pal. 

So there you have it. Main characters from popular TV shows that are actually pretty awful. Agree? Disagree? Who did I miss. Let me know.

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