Dana Wessel

Sure Could Go For Some Wings…

This week the 2020 crotch-kicks kept coming with the not-so-unexpected news that the Big Ten football season won’t be happening this fall. 

This is obviously a huge bummer to a lot of people – players, parents, fans, stadium employees, etc. Not here to assign blame for why the season was cancelled; that is not the point of this post. But say hypothetically it was?  The blame would definitely be placed upon the President and those who refuse to wear masks. 

But no, the reason for this post is to offer a ray of light during the darkest day for Gopher football fans. Just because there are no games doesn’t mean the season has to be cancelled. That season, of course, being the tailgate season. 

Who the hell says there needs to be an actual football game to have a tailgate? Tailgating is the best part about the whole experience of college football anway. Gather some friends (social distance of course) in your driveway or an empty parking lot and set-up shop. 

Blow it out just like you would a normal tailgate. Go with the full food spread, the works really. Get that over-the-top bloody mary bar going. Wake up early to get some ribs in the smoker. Have somebody rig up a giant TV with the Outback Bowl win over Auburn. Paint your damn face. Sing the rouser so loud your voice is sore in the morning. 

Is it ideal? Obviously not. But everything in this hellhole of a year has been the furthest thing from ideal. Sometimes in life all you can do is find a way to make the best out of a shitty situation. 

Best part about this plan? You are guaranteed to go to bed happy. No chance a Gophers loss can ruin a perfectly good tailgate. 

*Please note by reading this and using this idea you are now legally bound to invite me to your tailgate. I’ll bring the wings.*

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