Dana Wessel

Sure Could Go For Some Wings…

The official Blockbuster Video account dropped a tweet on Tuesday — their first in SIX year — that got everybody’s 90’s nostalgia radars going off. In case you missed it, here is the original tweet.

Adding a pile of old VHS tapes to the nostalgia fire was the famed ‘Last Blockbuster on Earth’ in Bend, Oregon announcing they were doing a special 90’s themed Airbnb inside their store for one weekend only in September

Now, do I necessarily consider myself a Blockbuster Video historian? Yes, you are damn right I do. I heroically worked at store No. 294041 on Cliff Road in Eagan, MN for a few summers in high school in the mid-2000s. And by heroically, I mean I probably defrauded the company out of thousands of dollars by never charging any cute girls for late fees. What can I say? I am a man of the people. 

So what exactly could Blockbuster be up to? Let’s go over a few theories. 

Theory: They want to learn from their mistakes and start a streaming service, hoping to cash in on idiots like me who have fond memories of the glory days of Blockbuster.

Verdict: Highly unlikely. There are already too many streaming services as it is. Plus, what could they possibly acquire the rights to show on their service? The only properties up for grabs right now are season one of Joey and the VH1 reality show The Pick-Up Artist

Theory: A full-fledged return to brick-and-mortar video stores to vanquish the streaming services that killed them so they can get revenge and once and for all reclaim their 9,000+ location movie rental empire. 

Verdict: C’mon now don’t be stupid. 

Theory: The person who has the password to their Twitter account saw Blockbuster trending because of the Airbnb story and decided to toss a tweet out because they were bored during quarantine.

Verdict: Yeah, that looks to be 100% accurate, unfortunately. Here was their very next tweet.

So sadly, it doesn’t look like Blockbuster is up to much of anything. We will always have the memories though. 

If you ever want to recreate the magic of making it a Blockbuster night you are welcome to come over to my place, look through a pile of average DVDs, settle on the one that sucks the least, listen to me try to up-sell you to a Blockbuster Rewards membership, before I tell you the due date and warn you about late-fees. I am married now and we are in a pandemic. No late-fee forgiveness no matter how cute you are.

%d bloggers like this: